"Things We Think About at Night"

 

 

Sydney M. Williams

 

More Essays from Essex

“Things We Think About at Night”

October 20, 2026

 

“Night is purer than day; it is better for thinking, loving and

dreaming. At night everything is more intense, more true.”

Elie Wiesel (1928-2016)

Dawn, 1961

 

Like many of you, I sometimes lie awake at night, reliving past experiences, considering alternatives, even thinking of some episodes that should not be recalled in a family-friendly essay. I ponder questions that seem silly when the morning sun pours through the open window – silly even for someone like me who likes to contemplate unimportant questions. For example, I once found myself wondering if aristocracy was a necessary step in the evolution from the divine rights of kings to a democracy. 

 

Usually, though, my mind wanders to more mundane matters – to retorts I might have made had I been prepared. Or was I rude in the dining room the other night. Or things I should have said but did not; or something I did say when I should have kept quiet.

 

Once, upon returning from a trip to the loo, the clock read 2:37am. Interesting. Two was month my daughter was born, and seven the month my wife was born. Two times three is six, the month our youngest son was born, and two plus seven equal nine, the month our oldest arrived. I could even get to one, the month I was born, by multiplying two times three and subtracting it from seven. In fact, I realized, in a moment of rare illumination, I could arrive at the numbers for all twelve months by adding, subtracting or multiplying. Happy, I fell to sleep.

 

Waking in the night, I am reminded of lines from A.A. Milne in The House at Pooh Corner: “When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain and you Think of Things, you find that a Thing that seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.” 

 

The other night I found myself in that trance-like state between awake and asleep. This time it was the English language and how difficult it is for non-natives. Some words like ‘there,’ ‘to’ and ‘four’ have at least three definitions, are spelt differently but sound the same. Could I put three definitions of each word into sentences? What would be the shortest sentence I could produce? My answers: “They’re there in their house,” “two is too old to pamper” and “four for the fore.” Upon waking, my Apple watch showed my sleep score to be low. If wasted brain power were measurable, I would be at the top of the list.

 

Those minutes before we fall asleep can feel like hours and they can be, as Mr. Wiesel wrote, intense. The absence of sound, sight, taste and odor magnify imagination and memory.  However, on rare occasions they can be productive, which is why I keep a pen and pad on my bedside table, praying that in the morning any words won’t be ‘Thingish.’